How Self-Care Became My Mental Health Compass

I’ll be honest, there are days when self-care feels like an item on my to-do list that’s way down at the bottom, somewhere between “finally fold that laundry” and “call the dentist.” But over time, I’ve realised that how I treat myself is one of the clearest mirrors of my mental health. My self-care routines aren’t just indulgences; they’re a way to check in with myself, a personal diagnostic for my wellbeing. And when I skip them, oh, the warning signs come fast and loud.

How I Realised Self-Care Reflects My Mental Health

It hit me one morning as I stared at my reflection whilst brushing my teeth. Well, brushing around my teeth, really, because I’d been too tired to do more than a half-hearted swipe with the toothbrush for the past few days. My hair was doing that thing where it looks like I just rolled out of bed because, well, I had. And it wasn’t just about appearances, it was about how I felt.

The less I cared for myself, the more my inner dialogue sounded like a sarcastic, overworked roommate muttering, “We’re really doing this again, huh?”

When my self-care goes out the window, it’s usually a sign that I’m stressed, overwhelmed, or not prioritising myself. And let me tell you, ignoring the basics of self-care is like ignoring the petrol light in your car. Eventually, you’re going to stall.

The Little Ways I Use Self-Care to Check In

Over time, I’ve created a toolkit of small self-care routines that not only make me feel better but also serve as little check-ins with myself:

• If I haven’t refilled my water bottle, it’s a sign. Dehydration equals cranky me.
• My hair is in a three-day messy bun? It’s time to pause and give myself five minutes to brush it out.
• I’m reheating sad leftovers again? Time to slow down and make a simple, nourishing meal.

These aren’t huge acts, but they’re gentle nudges reminding me to show up for myself.

The One-Thing List

But here’s the real magic. On days when everything feels too heavy, I don’t make a long list of tasks. I make a one-thing list.

Just one thing. Not two. Not five. Just one.

Maybe it’s drinking a single glass of water. Or putting away one item. Folding one piece of laundry. Doing that one thing might take all your focus and energy for the day. And that’s okay.

Because here’s the truth: it’s not about the size of the task. It’s about the strength it takes to do it.

When you finish that one thing, celebrate it. Let yourself feel the accomplishment. Maybe even smile and think, “I did it.” That feeling is empowering, and it can be the foundation you build on. Not a sprint to do everything at once, but a steady rhythm of resilience and care.

Why Self-Care Matters

Self-care isn’t about perfection. It’s about showing up for yourself, even in the smallest ways. It’s about reminding yourself, “I’m worth this effort.”

When we neglect self-care, we’re essentially telling ourselves that we don’t matter as much as everything else on our plate. But the truth is, you can’t pour from an empty cup. Taking care of yourself isn’t selfish, it’s essential.

Think of self-care as preventative maintenance for your mental health. Just as you wouldn’t wait for your car to break down completely before taking it to the mechanic, you shouldn’t wait until you’re completely burnt out before caring for yourself.

Understanding the Warning Signs

Learning to recognise when your self-care is slipping can help you catch mental health struggles before they escalate:

• Physical neglect: Skipping showers, not brushing teeth, wearing the same clothes for days
• Nutritional changes: Forgetting to eat, binge eating, or relying heavily on takeaways
• Social withdrawal: Cancelling plans, not responding to messages, isolating yourself
• Environmental chaos: Letting laundry pile up, dishes in the sink, cluttered spaces
• Sleep disruption: Insomnia, oversleeping, or irregular sleep patterns

These signs don’t mean you’re failing. They’re simply your mind and body telling you that something needs attention.

Building Your Self-Care Toolkit

Everyone’s self-care toolkit looks different, but here are some categories to consider:

Physical Self-Care

• Drinking enough water
• Moving your body in ways that feel good
• Getting adequate sleep
• Eating nourishing meals
• Basic hygiene routines

Emotional Self-Care

• Journalling your thoughts and feelings
• Talking to a trusted friend or therapist
• Setting boundaries with others
• Saying no when you need to
• Allowing yourself to feel your emotions

Mental Self-Care

• Reading for pleasure
• Learning something new
• Taking breaks from screens
• Practising mindfulness or meditation
• Limiting news consumption when it becomes overwhelming

Social Self-Care

• Spending time with people who uplift you
• Joining communities with shared interests
• Asking for help when you need it
• Nurturing meaningful relationships

Starting Small: The Power of Micro Self-Care

If traditional self-care feels overwhelming, try micro self-care moments throughout your day:

• Morning: Stretch in bed for 30 seconds before getting up
• Midday: Step outside for two minutes of fresh air
• Afternoon: Make yourself a cup of tea and actually sit down to drink it
• Evening: Light a candle whilst you’re cooking dinner
• Night: Put your phone down 10 minutes before bed

These tiny acts compound over time, creating a foundation of care that supports your mental health.

When Self-Care Feels Impossible

There will be days when even the smallest act of self-care feels insurmountable. On these days:

1. Be gentle with yourself. You’re not failing; you’re struggling, and that’s okay.
2. Choose the easiest possible thing. Can you drink a glass of water? Open a window for fresh air?
3. Ask for help. Text a friend, call a helpline, or simply sit with the feeling that you need support.
4. Remember: This feeling is temporary, even when it doesn’t feel like it.

Creating a Sustainable Self-Care Practice

The goal isn’t to have a perfect self-care routine. The goal is to develop a compassionate relationship with yourself where you notice when you’re struggling and respond with kindness.

Some days, self-care will be a long bath and a face mask. Other days, it will be brushing your teeth and changing into clean pyjamas. Both are valid. Both matter.

The key is consistency over intensity. Small, regular acts of self-care are more sustainable and effective than occasional grand gestures.

Your Self-Care is Valid

Whatever self-care looks like for you, it’s valid. There’s no right or wrong way to care for yourself. Some people find peace in exercise; others find it in stillness. Some need social connection; others need solitude. Honour what works for you without comparing yourself to others.

Moving Forward

So today, just pick one thing. Start small. Celebrate big. And let that victory be your proof: you’re strong, you’re capable, and you’re building a life where you care for yourself with the love you deserve.

You’ve got this. One thing at a time.

---

Need Support?

If you’re struggling with self-care or mental health, please reach out to a mental health professional. Self-care is important, but it’s not a replacement for professional support when you need it.

Resources:

• Mind The Box Support
• NHS Mental Health Services
• Samaritans - 116 123 (free 24/7)

Tags: #SelfCare #MentalHealth #Wellbeing #SelfCompassion #MentalHealthAwareness